Wednesday, March 28, 2012


My boss recently put me in for an award – normally great, right?  Well, it’s an award for being so great this past quarter.  Except…I wasn’t so great this quarter.  I did my job, I did it fine, but I didn’t move mountains.  Last quarter I did something awesome, and the quarter before I did something awesome.  This past quarter, I transitioned into a new job, so I just spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the hell I was doing mostly.  Additionally, my amazing paralegal does most of the work for me, so I don’t do any actual labor.  Not to mention, between chasing down a toddler and being in my first trimester, I was pretty exhausted and unwilling to go above and beyond.

So, when I told my boss “Hey, here’s some things I did this past quarter” he called me and said that he needed to know what I did to self-improve.  The conversation went something a-like this:

Boss: I need to know how you self-improved this quarter.  Did you do any self-improvement type things?
Me: Umm….I got pregnant, which I think is improving, but that’s probably not what you’re looking for.
Boss: (not finding this amusing) Not really.  Did you meet any fitness goals?
Me: How many marathons do you think someone in their first trimester is doing, dude?  No…I actually went on profile because of the pregnancy.
Boss: Did you read anything off the  Chief of Staff reading list?
Me: Is “Goodnight Moon” on that list? No.
Boss: Did you do any Rosetta Stone?
Me: I spoke a lot of baby talk. No.
Boss: (obviously grasping at straws now)…
Me:  I went.  I didn’t lead it. 
Boss: (sighs) Well, that’ll have to be good enough.

And while I was irritated that he threw this at me with no warning and then made me feel horrible about not self-improving, I realized that it’s true: I didn’t self-improve.  I read Game of Thrones, I watched TV, I napped a lot, I spent time with Avery.  All wonderful things to spend time doing.  But I’ve got to keep learning and keep growing as a person too, not just as a mom.

So, I’m going to start thinking of things that I’d like to accomplish and put some time into it.  Like getting my Ham Radio license, attending yoga classes, and finding someplace to volunteer.  My 33rd birthday is coming up, and while I’m not happy about the increase in numbers, I really couldn’t have been any younger and do everything I’ve done in life.  But, I’ve reached this mom-plateau where being a mom has replaced and been an excuse for not doing anything else.  Time to remind myself I’m a person with a lot of life left to live, not just someone’s mommy, even though being a mommy is truly the best thing ever :-)

Do you strive to improve yourself?  Tell me about it in the comments!

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