My girlfriend

Meet Vivian, my new girlfriend. I finally wore Jon down with my constant whining and bought a GPS for the car pretty cheap off of Woot.com. I love it and for the first time since learning to drive a stick shift, I fear no road, no Masshole driver, no stopping on hills. Well, I still fear stopping on hills, but at least I can get to the hills without having to look at a map.

Vivian is so named for the kinda snooty voice that comes out of GPS as she tells me to turn left, turn right, stay straight. She’s really great, reminding me miles out that a turn is coming up and giving me specific chime tones for left and right just in case I am too distracted to look her way. I ask her if I look fat, but all I can get her to say is “recalculating.” Maybe she’s a guy….

Anyway, I’ve started to live for those sweet words she breathily whispers to me at the end of every journey….”You have arrived….”