Oh, we're racing?

So, grades are at last about to be final for first semester of this academic year, and I didn't do as well as I had hoped. Granted, I piled a lot of stuff on my plate last semester, and the grades fairly reflect the effort I put into studying, but I had still hoped to do a little better than I did. But, then I remind myself that I'm only competing against myself and as long as I get get from Point A (law school) to Point B (Air Force JAG Corps) with the grades I have, that's all that matters.

At least, that's what the new and improved Alison reminds me. Unfortunately, the old competitive Alison lurks around, still hoping to come out with great grades that are the envy of others. But, I've managed to pretty much quash her down, until people start commenting on class ranks and the like. For instance, my good friend informed me that, at the end of last year, out of a group of four of us, I had the best GPA. Truth be told, I felt good about it, but it really was because I worked my ass off last year. Now, this same friend just sent me a message that said "At 5pm today my GPA will be higher than yours."

I'm not sure how I feel about that. Frustration that my friends seem to be competing with me and relishing in the fact that I'll be knocked out of my place. Sad that it's a reminding sign of the less-than-stellar effort I put into last semester. Determined for that semester to be the lowest one of my law school career. Happy (?) that some of the pressure's off? I don't know, I'm still working it out.

I wish I could say I didn't like competing with people, but I do...as long as I win. But, since that isn't likely to happen this time around, it's time to change my attitude about the whole thing and be happy with the performance that I do and happy for others who do well. All I can do is buckle down and do my best...and not let competitive Ali out of her cage!!