Monday, April 11, 2016

Monday, December 28, 2015


Avery: Daddy, I know why you can't taste your poop.
Avery: Because there's no taste bugs down there.

Wednesday, January 07, 2015


Me: But you, you're Captain America, you aren't scared!
Avery: I'm only pretend Captain America.  I'm not real Captain America.  I'm just Avery Beach!

Me: Avery, how about we go pee-pee before we put our costume on?
Avery: I can't!  Because I'm dead!

Me: You can finish the rest of your homework at school.
Avery: Mom, it's called HOMEwork, not SCHOOLwork.

Jon: Wow, you guys made a big mess in here.
Avery: No, that was just me.

Me: Where do you think babies come from?
Avery: The baby hotel.  A guy there has them and takes care of them.

Friday, October 17, 2014

I am a runner #4

After a few 5Ks (here and here and here) last year, I decided it was time to up my game this fall and try my first 10K run (that's 6.2 miles).

Training: I stuck with my pal (not really my pal) Hal Higdon and his novice 10K running plan.  Check it out in more detail HERE.  This plan followed a general training schedule of long runs on Sundays, a short run once a week, and a medium run that increased over the 8 week plan once a week.  It also recommended strength and stretching and cross-training.

I did almost all of the running on the training plan, but basically none of the cross-training or strength exercises.  This wasn't a disastrous mistake for my 10K, but I'm sure I would have done better with it in, and I'll definitely work on following all of the plan next time.  My longest run was the Monday before the Saturday race, a 5.5 miler.  So, not terribly bad.

Location is also tough for me.  I don't live in a run-friendly area, and to run on base outside, I have to use the track if I want to use headphones.  I tended to just hit the gym and treadmill and knock out some mileage AND watch an episode of Homeland or House of Cards while I did it.  I should probably focus more on outside runs, though, at least for my weekly long runs.

Race:  For the race, I picked the Arundel Fire Department's 5K/10K rescue run in Crofton, Maryland.  This was a great charity to raise money for, and this race raised $10,000.  The equipment of the fire department has to be purchased, so they need a lot of cash (the county will maintain it, however).

It was a nice, cool, but humid day when I got there, and they had everything all set up nicely, including a bagpiper standing in a field.  I got my number (6!) and then saw a former paralegal of mine, so we chatted for a bit.  She was running the 5K, so I was on my own.

Avery had lost my iPod so I had to run with no music, which was not ideal.  The route was through an entire residential area and randomly double backed and crossed paths with the 5Kers.  I basically didn't stop for fear of getting lost and never finding my way out.  It was HILLY.  Ugh, lots of ups and downs.  I only walked for about 30 seconds, at a time when I just COULD NOT GO UP ANOTHER HILL.

I ended up running 57:59 which I wasn't excited or bummed about.  Since it's my first 10K, it's a good starting point for me.  I don't know what is a good/bad score, and I was almost dead in the middle of the entire pack of runners, time-wise (54th out of 100).  The 1st-3rd places in my age group were down in the high 40s, low 50s, so I have an idea of where I would like to get to.

To improve, I'm going to work more on the strength/cross training stuff, and, of course, keep running!

Anyway, another race, and a new distance in the books!  Until next time!!!

Monday, October 06, 2014

Friday, September 26, 2014

How lovely

I'm not a huge Prairie Home companion fan, but every morning, I listen to Garrison Keillor read a poem on NPR and tell me who has a birthday.  There was a poem the other day that was so sweet, I had to share.  It really put things into perspective for me:

One Good Thing, by Edwin Romand

It's been a dead parade

of hours since 5 AM
a march of the bland
with the meaningless and
I can think of nothing
I have done to merit
mentioning or

But now, at 8 pm,
I am bathing my son
in a tub filled with bubbles
and blue battleships,
the soapy water over
his Irish white skin
makes him glisten
like a glazed doughnut

and I should tell him
to stop splashing
but this is the first time
all day I have felt like living
so how can I scold
my boy who's found joy
in something ordinary
as water? And when

I wash his hair
with Buzz Lightyear
shampoo, Liam
closes his eyes and
smiles like a puppy
being petted as I massage 
the sweet lotion into 
his red curls and I know

this is one good thing
I have done with my life
this day that has waited
for this moment
of water on my sleeve
and soap on my nose
to turn emptiness
into ecstasy.

Friday, September 05, 2014


Me: Good night Avery.
Avery: My penis got stuck.  But now it's aaaaaalllllll not stuck.

Me (noticing a basketball game): Avery, what game are they playing over there?
Avery: They're playing shoot!!

Me: (reading from a book) You should remember that God loves you, so if you feel too young or too small to do something, God will help you.
Avery: God is our best friend.
Me: That's right!
Avery: He's the president.
Me: Um....ok.

Avery: Mommy, see that sign? (deer crossing sign) It says watch out because you don't want to hit the reindeer running across the road.

Avery: Mommy, why is your hair so long?
Me: Because I let it grow.